Scrambled Dino Eggs

Ingredients

• 1 dinosaur egg (preferably free-range, organic Stegosaurus or Triceratops – avoid Velociraptor, too spicy)
• 2 tbsp Mammoth milk or your favorite ancient dairy substitute
• Salt from a dried prehistoric ocean
• Crushed black peppercorns (harvested from a saber-tooth tiger’s spice rack)
• Optional: a dash of hot pterodactyl sauce.

Instructions

1. Crack the dinosaur egg. Be careful—shells can be up to 3 inches thick. A small chisel or light jackhammer works best. Pour the neon-yellow yolk and Jurassic whites into a stone mixing bowl.
2. Whisk it like a meteor’s coming. Add mammoth milk for creaminess. Beat vigorously with a bronze whisk or a brontosaurus tail hair brush until frothy.
3. Heat a volcanic rock skillet over medium lava flow. Add a splash of saber-fat or olive oil pressed by Neanderthals.
4. Scramble those dino eggs! Pour the egg mixture into the hot pan. Stir gently with a wooden club, folding the eggs like tectonic plates. Cook until soft, creamy, and slightly quivering (like the earth when a T-Rex walks by).
5. Sprinkle with ancient sea salt and black pepper. Garnish with a fern sprig and a side of fossilized toast.
6. Serve hot and enjoy

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